Further and further away
you run away from it all
fall to your knees and crawl
running circles of lies
that you tell yourself to survive
instead of walking in truth
what you need isn’t what you’re looking for
your search doesn’t lead to what He wants for you
yet you go toward the eventuality of more pain
like a moth to a flame
that burns its fragile wings
you have no freedom there
just bondage to numb your soul

I’m writing a letter to you
one I never intend to send
to say goodbye to you
so my heart can mend
I’m disappointed in me
’cause I never made you a friend
instead I let fear bring about the end
and I know I’ll never
probably ever
see you again

you conspire against me
whispering lies in my ear
stirring up chaos
making my thoughts so unclear
I want to break these chains
that hold me down in defeat
I need a Savior
to come here and rescue me
I cry out to You
the only One with the power to cast away
the enemies of my own making

1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

- Ecclesiates 3:1-8 (NLT)

All my life I have heard the phrase, “This isn’t the time or place for that.” in reference to behavior that may not have been the most appropriate for whatever particular setting I happened to be in.  Several times when I was growing up, that phrase was directed at me. (Who’d a thunk it, right? )

When we were children, we didn’t always know what was appropriate in certain social situations.  We had to be taught.  As we matured, we gained wisdom to know when the proper time and place was for things.

Likewise, as we grow in our relationship with God, and in our relationship with the church, we learn when to plant and harvest seeds of ministry; when they should be birthed, or when they have lived a full life, and the time has come for them to be a part of the past.  We gain wisdom and understanding of when we are to tear down and rebuild, whether that be in a physical or spiritual sense.  We become wise with our tongue, and discern when it is best to be quiet, or when it is best to speak out.

I pray that I become more wise, and learn to behave in the right time and proper season.

Does time slip through my fingers
and make its way to the memory of the past
or has the time that has been placed into my feeble hands
been wasted at your expense?

I wish that I could go back
savor every second and make it last
I wish that I could soak up every precious drop of wisdom
that I allowed to fall to the floor
and study it sitting in my open palms

I ran away so many times
thinking I could run from You
yet knowing deep down that wasn’t true
it’s impossible to run
from the One who is in all things and all places
yet still I ran
each time a new reason why
but You bring me back
right where You want me every single time

I’m so confused
when I look at you
You look so familiar
but you’re so hard to understand

I can’t go on like this
trying so easily to dismiss
the things that went wrong
and what’s going on

take off your mask
and be real with me
so I can finally see
who you really are
because you’re so far
from who you used to be

Sometimes I just hear a song, and its timing is absolutely perfect for my life at that moment.  A few that I’m really feeling right now, and why:

Free to Be Me by Francesca Battistelli  (from My Paper Heart)

I’ve got a couple dents in my fender
got a couple rips in my jeans
try to fit the pieces together
but perfection is my enemy
on my own I’m so clumsy
but on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

Why I love this song: I’m probably one of the most awkward people ever.  I frequently embarrass myself.  I run into things.  I trip over my own feet.  But I’m also very much a perfectionist, so I want to pretend that I’m not quite as messy as I am.  I often try to make the puzzle pieces of my life fit together just so — and most of the time, that doesn’t quite work out so well.  It’s a daily process, but I’m learning that it’s alright to be a little imperfect…

The Motions by Matthew West (from Something to Say)

I don’t want to go through the motions
I don’t want to go one more day
without Your all-consuming passion inside of me
I don’t want to spend my whole life asking
what if I had given everything
instead of going through the motions

Why I love this song: Often times I think we have a tendency to become complacent in our faith.  We go to church because we know we need to be there.  We read our Bible every once in a while, because we ought to.  We pray when things are not so happy.  I know I don’t want to live my life wondering if I had given a little more, if I could have made a difference.  I don’t want to have questions about what might have been if I had taken a risk…I want to have the guts to take that risk, even if it means I fail.

What about you?  What songs are speaking to you right now?  Leave a comment, or link to your own blog in the comments.

Bald eagles are pretty magnificent birds.  I’ve never seen one in person, but in photographs, they are just beautiful.

I was reading a little bit about them Online, and apparently, they are huge birds.  Some of their prey includes Canadian geese, which are not small birds themselves.

In the late winter and early spring, eagles start building nests for their young.  Though many of us have seen pictures of a huge eagle’s nest high in the branches of a tree or in the crag of a cliff, few of us have gotten a glimpse inside.

When a mother eagle builds her nest she starts with thorns, broken branches, sharp rocks, and a number of other items that seem entirely unsuitable for the project. But then she lines the nest with a thick padding of wool, feathers, and fur from animals she has killed, making it soft and comfortable for the eggs. By the time the growing birds reach flying age, the comfort of the nest and the luxury of free meals make them quite reluctant to leave.

That’s when the mother eagle begins ’stirring up the nest. With her strong talons she begins pulling up the thick carpet of fur and feathers, bringing the sharp rocks and branches to the surface. As more of the bedding gets plucked up, the nest becomes more uncomfortable for the young eagles. Eventually, this and other urgings prompt the growing eagles to leave their once-comfortable abode and move on to more mature behavior.

I think that God does the same to us.  Just when we get comfortable with where we are at spiritually, He shakes things up…and it isn’t always a graceful or pain free experience when God wants you to grow.

Paul begins Philippians chapter 3 by warning the Believers in Philippi to beware of “the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of the false circumcision” and “to have no confidence in the flesh.”

There are some people in the world who like to place extra requirements for receiving God’s grace.  “You’re not really a Christian unless you do this thing that I say you need to do.”

Really?

Paul criticized people like this because they thought what they did saved them, instead of the gift of God’s grace.  What we do as Believers is a result of our faith in God, not a requirement to receive salvation, or some pre-requisite righteousness we have to have to be “good enough” for it.

In verses 4 thru 7, Paul addresses his heritage and his pedigree.  He talks about being born into a good Jewish family, a “Hebrew of Hebrews”, and following the Law of Moses to the letter as a Pharisee.  He talked about being zealous in his persecution of Believers in Christ.  His fellow Hebrews were probably pretty impressed by all of that.

But Paul’s point here wasn’t to brag about how awesome he was.

He goes on to talk about how all of that stuff that he did didn’t really mean anything…in fact, he uses some pretty strong language here, comparing all of those past deeds and accomplishments to what amounts to, in terms those of us today can understand, a bag full of week-old foul-smelling garbage.

We’ve all done good things, which we could boast about, but likewise we’ve all sinned and fallen short of what God’s expectations are for us.  Some of us hold onto that guilt and shame, thinking that we’ll never be good enough, and perhaps making us think we need to do all of these good things to make up for it.

Trying to live this sort of “perfect Christian life” can ultimately leave us drained and discouraged.  Let’s face it:  we’re humans, and we’re not perfect.  We’re going to mess up at some point.  But God uses our pain and disappointment in ourselves to help us grow.

Instead of striving for “perfect” (as we know it to be), may we aspire to grow up…become mature…to leave the nest…and focus less on what we do for Christ, but rather focus on who we are because of Christ.

Paul makes this point in verses 8 and 9: “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them but rubbish, so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith.”

Our achievements, no matter how grand they may be, don’t earn us eternal life.  We shouldn’t be depending upon our good deeds to please the Father.  Even the greatest deeds fall short of God’s Holy standards.

Because of our hope in Christ, we can let go of guilt, regret, and the need to do to feel secure in our salvation, and can look forward to what God will help us to become.  Instead of focusing on our past works, we should grow in the knowledge of God by concentrating on our individual relationship with Him in the present.

By striving closer to Christ, and living our life in Him, by doing good things and being outwardly righteous because it’s what He would want us to do, not what would earn us our spot in heaven, we are, as Paul writes in verse 14: “[pressing] on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Moving toward a goal doesn’t necessarily come easy.  It takes hard work, focus, and often times sacrifice to reach it.

Paul gave up everything – family, friendship, and even his freedom – to know Christ.  How much have I given up to just simply know Christ?

Am I willing to give anything up?

Friends, knowing Christ, spending the time to grow and develop a deeper relationship with Him, is worth the sacrifices we may have to make in order to do so.

Paul is a great example to us.  His goal was to know Christ, to be like Him, and to be all that Christ had in mind for him to be.  This took all of Paul’s energy and focus.

Like Paul, we should not let anything distract us from our goal of knowing Jesus.  Nor should we let things distract us from those specific goals or callings he has for each of our lives individually, and the greater collective mission of making disciples so that this world can be transformed.

Moving toward this prize is not an easy process, but Christ is always present…moving and working in unimaginable, life-giving ways. Through striving toward Him, though it may be difficult for us, or painful, or uncomfortable, like those baby eagles experience when their mother exposes all the rocks and sticks in the nest – we grow – in our knowledge of Christ and in closeness to and maturity in Him.

Father God, help us to remember that we don’t have to keep a laundry list of rules and good deeds in order to be worthy of your grace.  Help us to know that all we need is simple, sincere faith in You, and You will touch us…change us…and make us into something better and more mature than we were before.  Amen.

I have been tagged!  So here goes nothin’!

1. I was born in Germany.  My ‘rents were in the Army and were stationed in Lahnstul, so I was born at the base there.

2. I don’t have a favorite color, though I’m drawn to rich, bright, or jewel tones.

3. I drive a Beetle.   (Some of you already know that!)

4. I like to make beaded jewelry and such.

5. I love CSI:NY.

6. It’s been five years since I’ve done any throwing of clay on a wheel, and I kind of miss it a little bit.  It was a good stress reliever.

7. I like to sing…a lot.

8. I didn’t get the courage to sing solo in front of a crowd until I was 23.  I sang, “The Glory” by Avalon on Easter at my church.

9. I collect smiley faces.  .

10. My favorite Bible verse is John 16:33 – “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

11. I like to try exotic foods once, just to be able to say, “Yeah, I’ve tried that.”

12. My favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz.  It’s been my favorite since I was a kid, with The Sound of Music as a close second.

13. I like eating lemons…no sugar or anything on them.  Especially in the summer when it’s hot.

14. Spending time by myself is a necessity.  I need to do that in order to just process my day and get my thoughts in order.

15. I am the proud owner of a green cactus shaped pencil. .

16. I love to read.  I’ve got several books waiting on me.

17. I am one of the few people I know who hasn’t read The Shack yet.  I am looking forward to reading it some time in the near future.

18. I like it on the rare occasion when my brother goes grocery shopping with me…I sometimes end up with a new random quote to save for posterity on my Facebook profile. .

19. I’m not a big fan of cold weather, but if it snows I guarantee you I will be out in it…either taking pictures or bulding something out of it.

20. I can’t swim underwater without holding my nose.

21.  I am easily distracted.

22. I’m trying to teach myself CSS so I can really call myself a “Web designer.”

23. I waste lots of time watching random videos on YouTube.

24.  I feel most creative between the hours of 11:00PM and 1 or 2 in the morning.

25.  Because of #24, I’m not a big fan of getting up early in the morning.