Confessions of a SmileyFreak :)

It was a typical Tuesday morning in September, and, as usual, I was running late. I had just started my junior year in college, and Tuesday and thursday mornings I was doing work study for the Admissions office, so it wasn’t too big of a deal.

My mom and I rode together to the college (she works there), so at around 10 after 8 I walked back to her room to see if she was ready, in time to hear the DJ on the radio station she was listening to announce that a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers in New York City. We said something to the effect of, “Oh, wow, that’s not good.” to each other, and hoped it was just some freak accident. She turned off her radio, and the lights, we grabbed our things, and headed out to the car to head to the school.

Just before we made it to the school, that same DJ would be informing us that a second plane had hit the other World Trade Tower.

We went inside, to our respective offices, as the fear and uncertainty set in.

Our offices were in the basement of the building, and we had no access to television, so we turned on the radio. Soon, every radio station on the AM and FM dials were broadcasting the audio of one of the major networks who were covering the events as they happened.

I listened to the sound of fear and astonishment in the voices of the anchors, as they described the planes hitting the World Trade Center, and the chaos in Manhattan. I continued to listen as they talked about how a plane had hit the Pentagon in Washington, DC, and how all flights were being grounded, and planes were still unaccounted for. I listened as the news came across about a plane crashing in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. I listened as the news anchors shockingly told that the World Trade towers collapsed, causing giant dust clouds to billow out from where the towers once stood.

I didn’t have to see the video of what it looked like to know that the world had changed dramatically.

At lunch time, I went home and turned on the tv, and the first thing I saw was a replay of the towers collapsing. Every television station was broadcasting live coverage of what was going on.

I had art history class that afternoon, and the first half of the class all we talked about was what happened. My classmates reactions ranged from sadness and confusion, to shock and anger.

It’s now ten years later, and, unfortunately, I think there is a good portion of America that has forgotten that day. Some have forgotten because they’ve been enticed by irrational conspiracy theories. Others have forgotten, because, like the terrorists who planned and carried out the attacks on September 11, 2001, they have been brainwashed to hate the United States. Still others have forgotten, because they don’t want to be labeled a “racist” or a “hater” by our society’s obnoxious squeaky wheels. And others have forgotten because they just don’t want to deal with it.

It’s important to remember. Not so that we hate those responsible, but rather that our resolve be strengthened. We need to remember, not so we perpetually cower in fear, but that we stand up for that which is good and right and just, and stand against that which is evil, wrong, and unjust.

If we forget what happened that day, those lost, how it felt, and what we learned from that day, we can’t.

9/11 is a day to remember – a day for reverence.

Remember where you were that day, today.

1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

- Ecclesiates 3:1-8 (NLT)

All my life I have heard the phrase, “This isn’t the time or place for that.” in reference to behavior that may not have been the most appropriate for whatever particular setting I happened to be in.  Several times when I was growing up, that phrase was directed at me. (Who’d a thunk it, right? )

When we were children, we didn’t always know what was appropriate in certain social situations.  We had to be taught.  As we matured, we gained wisdom to know when the proper time and place was for things.

Likewise, as we grow in our relationship with God, and in our relationship with the church, we learn when to plant and harvest seeds of ministry; when they should be birthed, or when they have lived a full life, and the time has come for them to be a part of the past.  We gain wisdom and understanding of when we are to tear down and rebuild, whether that be in a physical or spiritual sense.  We become wise with our tongue, and discern when it is best to be quiet, or when it is best to speak out.

I pray that I become more wise, and learn to behave in the right time and proper season.

Sometimes I just hear a song, and its timing is absolutely perfect for my life at that moment.  A few that I’m really feeling right now, and why:

Free to Be Me by Francesca Battistelli  (from My Paper Heart)

I’ve got a couple dents in my fender
got a couple rips in my jeans
try to fit the pieces together
but perfection is my enemy
on my own I’m so clumsy
but on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

Why I love this song: I’m probably one of the most awkward people ever.  I frequently embarrass myself.  I run into things.  I trip over my own feet.  But I’m also very much a perfectionist, so I want to pretend that I’m not quite as messy as I am.  I often try to make the puzzle pieces of my life fit together just so — and most of the time, that doesn’t quite work out so well.  It’s a daily process, but I’m learning that it’s alright to be a little imperfect…

The Motions by Matthew West (from Something to Say)

I don’t want to go through the motions
I don’t want to go one more day
without Your all-consuming passion inside of me
I don’t want to spend my whole life asking
what if I had given everything
instead of going through the motions

Why I love this song: Often times I think we have a tendency to become complacent in our faith.  We go to church because we know we need to be there.  We read our Bible every once in a while, because we ought to.  We pray when things are not so happy.  I know I don’t want to live my life wondering if I had given a little more, if I could have made a difference.  I don’t want to have questions about what might have been if I had taken a risk…I want to have the guts to take that risk, even if it means I fail.

What about you?  What songs are speaking to you right now?  Leave a comment, or link to your own blog in the comments.

Bald eagles are pretty magnificent birds.  I’ve never seen one in person, but in photographs, they are just beautiful.

I was reading a little bit about them Online, and apparently, they are huge birds.  Some of their prey includes Canadian geese, which are not small birds themselves.

In the late winter and early spring, eagles start building nests for their young.  Though many of us have seen pictures of a huge eagle’s nest high in the branches of a tree or in the crag of a cliff, few of us have gotten a glimpse inside.

When a mother eagle builds her nest she starts with thorns, broken branches, sharp rocks, and a number of other items that seem entirely unsuitable for the project. But then she lines the nest with a thick padding of wool, feathers, and fur from animals she has killed, making it soft and comfortable for the eggs. By the time the growing birds reach flying age, the comfort of the nest and the luxury of free meals make them quite reluctant to leave.

That’s when the mother eagle begins ‘stirring up the nest. With her strong talons she begins pulling up the thick carpet of fur and feathers, bringing the sharp rocks and branches to the surface. As more of the bedding gets plucked up, the nest becomes more uncomfortable for the young eagles. Eventually, this and other urgings prompt the growing eagles to leave their once-comfortable abode and move on to more mature behavior.

I think that God does the same to us.  Just when we get comfortable with where we are at spiritually, He shakes things up…and it isn’t always a graceful or pain free experience when God wants you to grow.

Paul begins Philippians chapter 3 by warning the Believers in Philippi to beware of “the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of the false circumcision” and “to have no confidence in the flesh.”

There are some people in the world who like to place extra requirements for receiving God’s grace.  “You’re not really a Christian unless you do this thing that I say you need to do.”

Really?

Paul criticized people like this because they thought what they did saved them, instead of the gift of God’s grace.  What we do as Believers is a result of our faith in God, not a requirement to receive salvation, or some pre-requisite righteousness we have to have to be “good enough” for it.

In verses 4 thru 7, Paul addresses his heritage and his pedigree.  He talks about being born into a good Jewish family, a “Hebrew of Hebrews”, and following the Law of Moses to the letter as a Pharisee.  He talked about being zealous in his persecution of Believers in Christ.  His fellow Hebrews were probably pretty impressed by all of that.

But Paul’s point here wasn’t to brag about how awesome he was.

He goes on to talk about how all of that stuff that he did didn’t really mean anything…in fact, he uses some pretty strong language here, comparing all of those past deeds and accomplishments to what amounts to, in terms those of us today can understand, a bag full of week-old foul-smelling garbage.

We’ve all done good things, which we could boast about, but likewise we’ve all sinned and fallen short of what God’s expectations are for us.  Some of us hold onto that guilt and shame, thinking that we’ll never be good enough, and perhaps making us think we need to do all of these good things to make up for it.

Trying to live this sort of “perfect Christian life” can ultimately leave us drained and discouraged.  Let’s face it:  we’re humans, and we’re not perfect.  We’re going to mess up at some point.  But God uses our pain and disappointment in ourselves to help us grow.

Instead of striving for “perfect” (as we know it to be), may we aspire to grow up…become mature…to leave the nest…and focus less on what we do for Christ, but rather focus on who we are because of Christ.

Paul makes this point in verses 8 and 9: “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them but rubbish, so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith.”

Our achievements, no matter how grand they may be, don’t earn us eternal life.  We shouldn’t be depending upon our good deeds to please the Father.  Even the greatest deeds fall short of God’s Holy standards.

Because of our hope in Christ, we can let go of guilt, regret, and the need to do to feel secure in our salvation, and can look forward to what God will help us to become.  Instead of focusing on our past works, we should grow in the knowledge of God by concentrating on our individual relationship with Him in the present.

By striving closer to Christ, and living our life in Him, by doing good things and being outwardly righteous because it’s what He would want us to do, not what would earn us our spot in heaven, we are, as Paul writes in verse 14: “[pressing] on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Moving toward a goal doesn’t necessarily come easy.  It takes hard work, focus, and often times sacrifice to reach it.

Paul gave up everything – family, friendship, and even his freedom – to know Christ.  How much have I given up to just simply know Christ?

Am I willing to give anything up?

Friends, knowing Christ, spending the time to grow and develop a deeper relationship with Him, is worth the sacrifices we may have to make in order to do so.

Paul is a great example to us.  His goal was to know Christ, to be like Him, and to be all that Christ had in mind for him to be.  This took all of Paul’s energy and focus.

Like Paul, we should not let anything distract us from our goal of knowing Jesus.  Nor should we let things distract us from those specific goals or callings he has for each of our lives individually, and the greater collective mission of making disciples so that this world can be transformed.

Moving toward this prize is not an easy process, but Christ is always present…moving and working in unimaginable, life-giving ways. Through striving toward Him, though it may be difficult for us, or painful, or uncomfortable, like those baby eagles experience when their mother exposes all the rocks and sticks in the nest – we grow – in our knowledge of Christ and in closeness to and maturity in Him.

Father God, help us to remember that we don’t have to keep a laundry list of rules and good deeds in order to be worthy of your grace.  Help us to know that all we need is simple, sincere faith in You, and You will touch us…change us…and make us into something better and more mature than we were before.  Amen.

I have been tagged!  So here goes nothin’!

1. I was born in Germany.  My ‘rents were in the Army and were stationed in Lahnstul, so I was born at the base there.

2. I don’t have a favorite color, though I’m drawn to rich, bright, or jewel tones.

3. I drive a Beetle.   (Some of you already know that!)

4. I like to make beaded jewelry and such.

5. I love CSI:NY.

6. It’s been five years since I’ve done any throwing of clay on a wheel, and I kind of miss it a little bit.  It was a good stress reliever.

7. I like to sing…a lot.

8. I didn’t get the courage to sing solo in front of a crowd until I was 23.  I sang, “The Glory” by Avalon on Easter at my church.

9. I collect smiley faces.  .

10. My favorite Bible verse is John 16:33 – “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

11. I like to try exotic foods once, just to be able to say, “Yeah, I’ve tried that.”

12. My favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz.  It’s been my favorite since I was a kid, with The Sound of Music as a close second.

13. I like eating lemons…no sugar or anything on them.  Especially in the summer when it’s hot.

14. Spending time by myself is a necessity.  I need to do that in order to just process my day and get my thoughts in order.

15. I am the proud owner of a green cactus shaped pencil. .

16. I love to read.  I’ve got several books waiting on me.

17. I am one of the few people I know who hasn’t read The Shack yet.  I am looking forward to reading it some time in the near future.

18. I like it on the rare occasion when my brother goes grocery shopping with me…I sometimes end up with a new random quote to save for posterity on my Facebook profile. .

19. I’m not a big fan of cold weather, but if it snows I guarantee you I will be out in it…either taking pictures or bulding something out of it.

20. I can’t swim underwater without holding my nose.

21.  I am easily distracted.

22. I’m trying to teach myself CSS so I can really call myself a “Web designer.”

23. I waste lots of time watching random videos on YouTube.

24.  I feel most creative between the hours of 11:00PM and 1 or 2 in the morning.

25.  Because of #24, I’m not a big fan of getting up early in the morning.

Have you seen that show called “Dirty Jobs” on the Discovery Channel?  It’s always interesting to see what kind of dirty job they’re going to show next.  If you who haven’t seen it, that’s the show where the host, Mike Rowe, goes around the country to do some of the most dirty jobs there are along side those who’ve chosen to make those jobs their profession.  That show has featured everything from sewer inspectors, to people who work at landfills, to people who build roads, to people who make cranberry jam (it’s messier than it sounds) – and everything in between.  I know that most of those jobs are the last thing I’d want to wake up every morning to go do.

Sometimes God gives us a job to do that might be kind of similar to some of those jobs – the hard or dirty jobs that not many people are willing to tackle.

If God called us to serve in dirty places, or serve dirty people, where there isn’t much glamor or notoriety – would we serve humbly and joyfully there, if we even served at all?  I think most of us would say that we would, myself included.  But sometimes I wonder if I’d be able to serve in an uncomfortable, dirty job with joy and humility.  I might be apt to complain a bit, or be disappointed that I wasn’t involved in something, well, less dirty.

Being a servant basically comes down to the greatest commandment – love the Lord with all your heart, and love your neighbor.  We’ve all heard this many, many times.     It sounds so simple, but that whole loving your neighbor part – you know, loving even that impatient guy in the car behind you at the light who is laying on his horn, cursing aloud about you turning left (because he’s so passionate about it you can read his lips), or that kid at school who keeps talking smack about you, or that fellow member of the church committee we serve on that we have a major disagreement with – that can be difficult.

However, if our service to others is about serving God, and loving Him – and not about our need for some sort of notoriety, our need for people to think well of us, our need to be right, or our need to be comfortable – in other words, if we have the proper perspective – then loving our neighbor and serving our neighbor humbly and joyfully becomes easier.

Paul writes about love in Romans chapter 12, verses 9 through 14, and I believe that the principles he speaks of in this passage of scripture also apply when we are in service to others.  It says:

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

Oswald Chambers wrote in the devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest, “The power of the saint lies in the coming down and the living that is done in the valley.  Paul said ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) and what he was referring to were mostly humiliating things.”

Brothers and sisters, Jesus didn’t promise us glamor or notoriety for being one of His servants.  May we – may I – remember that even though I may be placed into serving others by doing one of those unwanted dirty jobs, that it is an honor and a privilege to do that job.  May I humbly go where I am called to serve, and may I do so with joy and a loving heart.  Amen.

I’ve just recently started running on the treadmill again, which can be quite monotonous.  I have found, however, that there are certain songs in the Third Day catalog that are great for keeping me motivated to run.  Here they are:

1.  Get On
2.  Have Mercy
3.  Took My Place
4.  Otherside
5.  Tunnel
6.  40 Days
7.  Rockstar
8.  Shake
9.  Caught Up in Yourself
10. Peace

Do you work out with Third Day’s music?  If so, what are your favorites to exercise to?

Sometimes I feel so judged and misunderstood.

Did I really express an opinion in such a way that warranted a snarky response?

I can’t be a part of an activity, and not be subjected to the ever-so-judgmental, “Why would you want to do that?!? That’s boring!” from certain individuals?

World, I am so very, very sorry that it has taken me so many of my 27 years to realize that I don’t care anymore what you think about me.  Despite the crap that I’ve tried so hard to avoid by being “the quiet one”, I have something to say, and it’s going to be said.  Why is that so offensive to you?

I cannot please you, world.  Nor do I want to.

I will admit, that though Third Day is my favorite band, that I was a bit disappointed in their last release, Wherever You Are.  I thought there were some really good gems on the album, such as Communion, Tunnel and Carry My Cross, but on the whole I felt like it was missing some of that element that makes Third Day‘s music so attractive to my ear.

The Third Day I know and love is back on Revelation…and then some.

Tracks like Otherside, This is Who I Am, Ready and I Will Always Be True throw back to that Southern rock sound that sets them apart from the majority of other bands out there.  Slowdown, which features background vocals from Chris Daughtry, is a song that would fit right in on mainstream rock radio.  Run to You and Born Again features guest vocals from Lacey Mosley, lead singer for the band Flyleaf, and are very good songs as well.

Every song on the disc is solid, and the mixing and sound is, unlike a lot of Christian CDs in the past, on par with anything out there in the mainstream.  This is definitely a rock album, and it has the big sound that a rock album deserves.

If you haven’t picked up this CD, I would definitely recommend it.

More on Third Day’s Revelation:

Revealing a New Chapter – Christian Music Today
Third Day: Bold Revelation – CCM Magazine
Third Day’s ‘Revelation’ comes at right time – Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Revelation Sneak Peek (EPK) – PMG/SONY/BMG Channel on YouTube

Because I feel like jumping on the bandwagon…and because I haven’t posted anything in forever.

1. I can juggle. Really.
2. I own a Volkswagen Beetle.
3. Matthew West is one of my favorite songwriters.
4. I am a weirdo and don’t have one favorite color…but there are a lot of colors that I love.  Except seafoam green.  That color should be outlawed!
5. Favorite Bible verse:  John 16:33 (look it up.)
6. I sing.  I’m no diva vocalist by any means, but I get complemented so I guess the singing isn’t hideous.
7. I write poetry. (Look under the ‘Poetry’ tag over there —> to read some of it.  Facebook friends, click here.)
8. I like playing with my camera and taking pictures.
9. I was born in Landstuhl, Germany
10. I like to cook.  Sometimes I get creative, and experiment with recipes a bit, or just throw some things together to make whatever.  I completely suck at baking though…I always burn something.
11. I enjoy painting.
12. dark chocolate > milk chocolate
13. I like road trips.

Now it’s your turn — post thirteen random facts about yourself.