Trying to figure out the details of life
is as pointless as trying to fly
God didn’t give mankind wings
yet He gave us the gift of life
to live it for Him
holding His hand
and letting Him show us the way
Sometimes we don’t understand
why life is taken
why we have to grieve
sometimes things happen
that just can’t be explained
but we take comfort
in that their pain is gone
even though we hurt
without them here with us
If only I could give You all
If I could let go of my grip on this
maybe there would be freedom
and not all these chances missed
Moving on is not an option
in my own restless mind
I keep trying to search for
useless things I’m not going to find
If only I would let You rescue me again
let go of all my fears and stop playing pretend
perhaps I could be sane
and remember Your purpose and plan
According to this article in PC World, Steve Jobs is lobbying for music publishers to release DRM free tracks. EMI has already agreed to sell DRM free tracks on iTunes, and according to this article, Jobs is writing letters to the rest of the big record companies to persuade them to follow suit.
For me, one of the most frustrating things about purchasing music online is the lack of portability of what I buy. If I could easily convert songs to MP3 format (which I prefer) or even buy those tracks as MP3 files (which I already do at eMusic) it would be awesome. I think getting rid of DRM is the first step in the right direction, and if the record companies offer consumers more choice with less restriction I believe it can only help their bottom line.
According to the Abilene Reporter-News, several juveniles are being questioned regarding the bomb threat phone call received yesterday, which was deemed to be a hoax.
Today was an interesting day at the office. There was a bomb threat for the Abilene Regional Airport called in to the Reporter-News this morning, which resulted in delayed flights and the evacuation of the airport.
After listening to the audio, I am of the opinion that it was some dumb kid put up to a crank call by his friends. Listen to the audio, and let me know if you disagree.
Either way, it’s retarded.
If I knew the answer
don’t you think I’d live like I’ve got it figured out
things wouldn’t be so hard
I wouldn’t put up my guard
and I could tell you what this life is all about
But deep inside I’m so tired
of putting up this front
that everything is OK
and I’m happy with everything and everyone
but deep inside you can see
I’m not who I want to be
and I know the only cure is one step away
so where is my faith?
I used to be the one
who fully practiced what I preached
now I hide
and I can’t deny
that You feel so out of reach (to me)
Chorus
I’m just like you
broken and fallen
a mess that glue can’t fix
but I can pretend
with the best of them
I know all the tricks
but I don’t want to live this lie anymore
my walls are breaking down
everything is crashing to the floor
without You
Sometimes I really think that I have a hard time understanding, or maybe that I can’t understand, the love of my heavenly Father.
I grew up from the age of eight essentially without my father in my life. He could have easily been a part of my life, but for whatever reason, he chose not to be. Because of this, I think that the whole idea of a Father’s love can be hard for me to grasp. I haven’t experienced that here on earth, and that makes it hard to relate to, and at times I find myself intellectualizing God’s love for me and not really feeling it, and not really being open to feeling it.
That’s not to say that I’ve never felt God’s love—I have—it’s just been a while. And perhaps that is of my own doing.
Sometimes I have to sit down and be brutally honest with myself, and the brutal honest truth is that I suck at being a Christian. I consistently act selfish and prideful and greedy, and I fail miserably at being the perfectly good Christian woman that somehow some people seem to think I am. I am a complete and utter failure at this whole thing of “acting the part” of being a Jesus Freak. And it is completely my fault, because I get prideful and think I know what’s up, and forget that I’m not supposed to be in control.
It’s time to stop, reflect, study, pray, and let God make his amendments in my life. Instead of feeling guilt and shame for not living up to supposed expectations, and trying to control my behavior and my life to fit a mold, I need to let God be in control.
Yet that is so very hard to do.
Initially, I liked Sanjaya Malakar. I think he has a decent voice.
However, that being said, he’s 17, and that shows in his performances. He doesn’t have life experience (or performance experience) to draw from to help him sell a song. He does do daring and…uhm…interesting…things with his hair. But that’s about all he has going for him in my opinion.
So I was a bit flabbergasted that he wasn’t even in the bottom three on last week’s Idol.
The combination of Sanjaya being the first Indian-American on Idol, and therefor getting votes of the Indian-American community, his appeal with 10-13 year old girls, and Vote for the Worst is proving killer, and could be a credibility nightmare for Idol if he wins the whole deal.
Perhaps if he had waited until he was, say, 20, to audition for the show, his performance abilities wouldn’t be such an issue for him. I actually feel sorry for him in this regard, because he’s always going to have this hanging over his head, and he’s going to have to work harder to prove himself. But then again, maybe that will help him become a better performer, and it won’t be such a painfully boring experience watching him sing a song.
A picture, just so you can be scarred for life…or something…
(Photo via AmericanIdol.com photo galleries.)How long will it take me
until I finally open up my eyes
how many times do I have to fall
I never seem to get it
It’s like I don’t know You at all
Why do I insist on my way or the highway
when resistance is futile;
I’m not the one who makes the new day
I don’t know why You still love me
even after all I’ve put You through
when my world doesn’t revolve around You
and I only care about me and myself
while You sit on my closet shelf
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