Confessions of a SmileyFreak :)

Sometimes I just hear a song, and its timing is absolutely perfect for my life at that moment.  A few that I’m really feeling right now, and why:

Free to Be Me by Francesca Battistelli  (from My Paper Heart)

I’ve got a couple dents in my fender
got a couple rips in my jeans
try to fit the pieces together
but perfection is my enemy
on my own I’m so clumsy
but on Your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

Why I love this song: I’m probably one of the most awkward people ever.  I frequently embarrass myself.  I run into things.  I trip over my own feet.  But I’m also very much a perfectionist, so I want to pretend that I’m not quite as messy as I am.  I often try to make the puzzle pieces of my life fit together just so — and most of the time, that doesn’t quite work out so well.  It’s a daily process, but I’m learning that it’s alright to be a little imperfect…

The Motions by Matthew West (from Something to Say)

I don’t want to go through the motions
I don’t want to go one more day
without Your all-consuming passion inside of me
I don’t want to spend my whole life asking
what if I had given everything
instead of going through the motions

Why I love this song: Often times I think we have a tendency to become complacent in our faith.  We go to church because we know we need to be there.  We read our Bible every once in a while, because we ought to.  We pray when things are not so happy.  I know I don’t want to live my life wondering if I had given a little more, if I could have made a difference.  I don’t want to have questions about what might have been if I had taken a risk…I want to have the guts to take that risk, even if it means I fail.

What about you?  What songs are speaking to you right now?  Leave a comment, or link to your own blog in the comments.

I have been tagged!  So here goes nothin’!

1. I was born in Germany.  My ‘rents were in the Army and were stationed in Lahnstul, so I was born at the base there.

2. I don’t have a favorite color, though I’m drawn to rich, bright, or jewel tones.

3. I drive a Beetle.   (Some of you already know that!)

4. I like to make beaded jewelry and such.

5. I love CSI:NY.

6. It’s been five years since I’ve done any throwing of clay on a wheel, and I kind of miss it a little bit.  It was a good stress reliever.

7. I like to sing…a lot.

8. I didn’t get the courage to sing solo in front of a crowd until I was 23.  I sang, “The Glory” by Avalon on Easter at my church.

9. I collect smiley faces.  .

10. My favorite Bible verse is John 16:33 – “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

11. I like to try exotic foods once, just to be able to say, “Yeah, I’ve tried that.”

12. My favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz.  It’s been my favorite since I was a kid, with The Sound of Music as a close second.

13. I like eating lemons…no sugar or anything on them.  Especially in the summer when it’s hot.

14. Spending time by myself is a necessity.  I need to do that in order to just process my day and get my thoughts in order.

15. I am the proud owner of a green cactus shaped pencil. .

16. I love to read.  I’ve got several books waiting on me.

17. I am one of the few people I know who hasn’t read The Shack yet.  I am looking forward to reading it some time in the near future.

18. I like it on the rare occasion when my brother goes grocery shopping with me…I sometimes end up with a new random quote to save for posterity on my Facebook profile. .

19. I’m not a big fan of cold weather, but if it snows I guarantee you I will be out in it…either taking pictures or bulding something out of it.

20. I can’t swim underwater without holding my nose.

21.  I am easily distracted.

22. I’m trying to teach myself CSS so I can really call myself a “Web designer.”

23. I waste lots of time watching random videos on YouTube.

24.  I feel most creative between the hours of 11:00PM and 1 or 2 in the morning.

25.  Because of #24, I’m not a big fan of getting up early in the morning.

Sometimes I feel so judged and misunderstood.

Did I really express an opinion in such a way that warranted a snarky response?

I can’t be a part of an activity, and not be subjected to the ever-so-judgmental, “Why would you want to do that?!? That’s boring!” from certain individuals?

World, I am so very, very sorry that it has taken me so many of my 27 years to realize that I don’t care anymore what you think about me.  Despite the crap that I’ve tried so hard to avoid by being “the quiet one”, I have something to say, and it’s going to be said.  Why is that so offensive to you?

I cannot please you, world.  Nor do I want to.

Because I feel like jumping on the bandwagon…and because I haven’t posted anything in forever.

1. I can juggle. Really.
2. I own a Volkswagen Beetle.
3. Matthew West is one of my favorite songwriters.
4. I am a weirdo and don’t have one favorite color…but there are a lot of colors that I love.  Except seafoam green.  That color should be outlawed!
5. Favorite Bible verse:  John 16:33 (look it up.)
6. I sing.  I’m no diva vocalist by any means, but I get complemented so I guess the singing isn’t hideous.
7. I write poetry. (Look under the ‘Poetry’ tag over there —> to read some of it.  Facebook friends, click here.)
8. I like playing with my camera and taking pictures.
9. I was born in Landstuhl, Germany
10. I like to cook.  Sometimes I get creative, and experiment with recipes a bit, or just throw some things together to make whatever.  I completely suck at baking though…I always burn something.
11. I enjoy painting.
12. dark chocolate > milk chocolate
13. I like road trips.

Now it’s your turn — post thirteen random facts about yourself.

There are quite a few, actually.

First off, I am not a fan of the black eyed peas. (The food, not the band…but then again, the band sucks too…) I don’t eat them on New Year’s Day, even though certain family members try their hardest to harass me into doing it…saying things such as, “You’ll have bad luck!” You say that every year. Has it changed my mind yet? Just saying…

The second thing is tartar sauce. It makes me nauseous. Seriously.

Third…mushy, boiled oatmeal. You know, the breakfast kind that lowers your cholesterol, with the Quaker dude on the box. Oatmeal cookies, however…nom nom nom nom!

Next, lima beans. I will by the more expensive frozen mixed veggies just because they don’t have them.

I’m not a huge fan of okra either…I can eat it in gumbo, but any other way, and the sliminess of it puts me off.

I’m also not a big fan of fish, with the exception of salmon and tuna.

Other than that, I’ll eat most anything. I’ll at least try it once.

How ’bout you??

Question via Question of the Day.

Throughout most of my life I’ve felt like a bit of an outcast. I felt like a puzzle piece that wasn’t cut quite right. Through my younger years, I used my differences to isolate myself, and ultimately developed a bit of an inferiority complex.

Now I understand that I do have a place. Perhaps my puzzle piece needs a bit of sanding and refining to be able to fit in the spot in the puzzle that God has created for me. Do I see how I am a part of the bigger picture yet? Not quite, but I’m willing to be refined in order to know my role.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 12, Paul writes to the church at Corinth about the Body of Christ, and how there are many parts which do different things, but each is necessary in order for the Body to work effectively. No one can do everything, but everyone can do one thing. We’ve all been blessed with abilities, talents, and interests that are unique to each of our faith communities. We’ve all lived different lives and have different perspectives to offer to areas of ministry within our churches. All of our different gifts can be used together to carry out the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20).

Picture via stock.xchng

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be at this moment in time if a decision by myself or people who have affected my life would have been made differently. I wonder if my life would have turned out better…or worse…than it is right now.

If I think about it, though, I don’t think I would change anything about my life…even the bad parts. (And there have been some pretty bad parts.) My experiences have taught me things that I don’t think I’d have learned otherwise, and every single event that has happened has shaped me into the person I am today. I don’t know if the grass would be greener in the lawn I live in now if something had gone differently in my past.

The tough times build character…they give depth to the soul. But they make the good times taste that much sweeter.

What say you? Would you change something in your past?

Ladies and dudes…

Happy 2008!

Another year has begun, and like a lot of people, I have made several resolutions. However, unlike previous years where I’ve made resolutions, I really feel like I will be able to stick to them this time (of course, everyone says that, so we’ll see). So here they are:

Become friends with the treadmill again. I’m out of shape, y’all. ‘Nuff said.

Get organized, and stay that way! If any of you could see my bedroom right now, you’d understand why this is important…

Reclaim my time and rediscover what I’m about at the core. I need to say no to things, and focus my time on things that I’m passionate about and people that I care about. I have found that those things have been neglected, so it’s time to dust them off. I miss them.

How ’bout you? What is something that you’re resolved to do in 2008?

1.)

Without looking at the questions below, list your top 10 favorite artists

1. Third Day
2. Chris Tomlin
3. David Crowder*Band
4. Skillet
5. DC Talk
6. Leeland
7. Etta James
8. Flyleaf
9. All-Star United
10. Switchfoot

2.)

Q: What was the first song you ever heard by #2?
A: “We Fall Down”

3.)

Q: What is your favorite album of #6?
A: They’ve only had one…

4.)

Q: What is your favorite Lyric of #7?
A: “He may not be the man some girls think of as handsome, but to my heart he carries the key.”

5.)

Q: What is your favorite song by #9?
A: Hmm…either “Drive” or “Thank You, Goodnight”

6.)

Q: Is there a song of #1 that makes you sad?
A: “It’s a Shame” does a bit because of the subject matter…

7.)

Q: What is your favorite song by #8?
A: “Supernatural”

8.)

Q: What is your favorite song by #10?
A: “Learning to Breathe” or “Awakening”

9.)

Q: What is your favorite album by #8?
A: They’ve only had one full-length…but their EPs are good too.

10.)

Q: How did you get into #5?
A: I heard them at youth way back in the day…love them! Own every CD they put out.

11.)

Q: What is your favorite song by #4?
A: “Alien Youth” “Kill Me Heal Me” “A Little More” “Cycle Down” or “Yours to Hold”

12.)

Q: Who is your favorite band member of #1?
A: That’s a hard choice. All of them are cool…they’re a unit. You can’t break ‘em up.

13.)

Q: What is a good memory concerning #4?
A: Rocking out to them in my car. Someday I’ll get to see them live.

14.)

Q: What does #9 remind you of?
A: 1997…seeing Switchfoot, All-Star United, and Third Day for the first time, and seeing that not all Christian music is completely lame.

15.)

Q: Is there a song by #3 that makes you sad?
A: No

16.)

Q: What is your favorite song of #1?
A: “Sky Falls Down” or “Underwater”

17.)

Q: How did you become a fan of #7?
A: All the good singers reference her, so I checked out her stuff, and I love her voice.

18.)

Q: What do you like to do while listening to #6?
A: Worship & reflect…

19.)

Q: Which of the 10 has influenced you the most?
A: Probably Third Day…their music is like my musical soup. It’s got everything I like. Plus Mac’s vocals are always killer.

20.)

Q: Which artist makes you the most happy?
A: They all make me happy, but each in their own way.

21.)

Q: Which artist makes you the most sad?
A: None of them.

22.)

Q: Which artist makes the best dance music?
A: Hmm…well, being as I don’t dance, (I’m white. ‘Nuff said.) this is a hard one to answer. But I would suppose DC Talk’s stuff is better for that.

23.)

Q: Which artist have you liked the longest?
A: DC Talk

24.)

Q: Which artist have you liked the shortest?
A: Leeland

25.)

Q: Are there any artists you will still be listening to in 20 years?
A: Yes, I will pull these artists out from now on, most likely.

26.)

Q: What are you listening to right now?
A: Right this moment? The fan in my computer.

Okay, now it’s your turn. Post your answers in a comment or in your own note or blog.

Stolen from MamaGomer on the Third Day Boards.

It’s been a while since I’ve written a decent blog entry worth publishing. Not that many people read it, (if you do, show me some love and comment. ) but not that it matters. Writing is an outlet for me, and I feel better and more at peace for doing it, regardless if it is read by the masses or not.

I’ve been doing some thinking about the direction I want to take this blog in. So far I’ve written six posts about faith in my life, revelations I’ve had of a spiritual nature. (And I know those of you reading this on Facebook are going, “What the??” I have this blog feeding into Facebook via RSS, which is really cool.)

Being a designer, and one who reads design blogs, I know that it is best to keep a blog on one topic, but I’m starting to think that perhaps I should expand to other things that interest me. After all, this blog is titled Confessions of a SmileyFreak, so why can’t it be about several things I like or enjoy? I mean, Mark Lee writes about anything and everything he’s interested in on his blog, so why can’t I?

So I have decided, in the interest of possibly posting more entries, and in the interest of showing more than just one part of myself, that I’m going to expand my blog to cover current events as I see them, design, music, or anything else that I feel the need to write about. And now that Blogger lets you label posts, I can categorize, which makes multiple topics easier.

So look forward to more from me in the future.