I’m never going to be perfect
a white marble statue on display
or a rose with the perfect red shade
I’m more akin to the statue that’s fallen on the floor
smashed into a million pieces
or the rose with brown spots
that isn’t so pretty anymore

I can’t be one of the beautiful ones
so I have to accept being blemished
for I know the truth is this
even though I be a rose with spots of dead brown
or a statue that has fallen to the ground
my value is not diminished

My Father loves me as I am in this moment
spots and stains and tears and all
He doesn’t see the damage from my fall
He knows not that my leaves turn brown
He only sees His beautiful child
in need of his love and care

Sometimes I wish for a life that’s simple
to only have things around that matter
but life keeps moving faster
I’m in a tailspin of complexity
a life and time that doesn’t belong to me
with a heart that bleeds to stop

I’ve got nobody to blame;
I’m the fool who dug this hole
and got myself stuck inside
when I’ll get out, who knows?

I keep pretending to be
someone I thought I could make myself into
I thought I would be happy by default
but I just feel insincere

I stare into the mirror
and I don’t recognize me anymore
that girl staring back at me
is not the woman that I wanted to be
she’s an empty shell no one has a use for

I wanna stay in the silence
the place where Your presence is found
I wanna hear what you have to say
You deserve my full attention
but I give it all away

the madness of my life
has me going out of my mind
and I don’t know if I can make it through
disgusted with my own imperfection
forgetting to put all of my trust in You

I forget to remember
my life is not mine to live
my whole life belongs only to my Father
I can’t do anything alone but fail
without Your help I shouldn’t even bother

Jesus help me to live for You
to give up the reins and give up my control
I’ll never be able to make it in this world all alone
I need you to be my ever-present light
be my guide on this journey to my eternal home

I used to see every event
as a lesson that I needed to learn
a time to grow
but now I’m feeling
numb
and the lessons I need
fly over my head
a moment wasted
and another thing to regret

Trying to figure out the details of life
is as pointless as trying to fly
God didn’t give mankind wings
yet He gave us the gift of life
to live it for Him
holding His hand
and letting Him show us the way

Sometimes we don’t understand
why life is taken
why we have to grieve
sometimes things happen
that just can’t be explained

but we take comfort
in that their pain is gone
even though we hurt
without them here with us

If only I could give You all
If I could let go of my grip on this
maybe there would be freedom
and not all these chances missed

Moving on is not an option
in my own restless mind
I keep trying to search for
useless things I’m not going to find

If only I would let You rescue me again
let go of all my fears and stop playing pretend
perhaps I could be sane
and remember Your purpose and plan

If I knew the answer
don’t you think I’d live like I’ve got it figured out
things wouldn’t be so hard
I wouldn’t put up my guard
and I could tell you what this life is all about

But deep inside I’m so tired
of putting up this front
that everything is OK
and I’m happy with everything and everyone
but deep inside you can see
I’m not who I want to be
and I know the only cure is one step away
so where is my faith?

I used to be the one
who fully practiced what I preached
now I hide
and I can’t deny
that You feel so out of reach (to me)

Chorus

I’m just like you
broken and fallen
a mess that glue can’t fix
but I can pretend
with the best of them
I know all the tricks
but I don’t want to live this lie anymore
my walls are breaking down
everything is crashing to the floor
without You

How long will it take me
until I finally open up my eyes
how many times do I have to fall
I never seem to get it
It’s like I don’t know You at all

Why do I insist on my way or the highway
when resistance is futile;
I’m not the one who makes the new day

I don’t know why You still love me
even after all I’ve put You through
when my world doesn’t revolve around You
and I only care about me and myself
while You sit on my closet shelf